home


smiling on my dying mind



a dream half made and half became

here i am now for the endless beauty

a dream half made and half became the soil i'm sweating

where even the fields glow out an instinctual role

a drink half made and half became keeping the wick steady

fear it comes how i can't deny the pull of outside with everything dangling

the season's have changed but have been half retained

and i keep cranking through the goodwill and trust of the room turned to dust

but of what all the writing

a dream half made and half insane until this sink blows out of its moisture to mold

it's as they say in wave after wave on this ground grows a hairy chest soaked

as hard as it's made, it came and it came, at once letting go



the 49th parallel, at least

giving the sun eyes and dancing on rain clouds to swing

it's as simple as any trick you can buy, follow the blood down to water that stinks

laying naked across the sky, from the weather to love it grinds on me

looking everywhere but inside as proof to my lies that i can't see

a sick seeker of simple delight, kicking against the time twisted dream

pretending i'm off by surprise, building all my own parts to the machine

sending out a star to find beyond the 49th parallel, at least

and sending back a kiss to mind, forgiving of life so i can just breathe



i know you're soft

kill in clown clothes, breathe in the mold

the worried face of you begging for relief

silently screaming to the sky, another soft suicide

i know you're soft

say fuck it with me, who wears the ghosts anyways

when the friendly face of doom is walking down the street

letting go and fucking off, laying down and giving up

i know you're soft

with a fist of their blows in our bare hands

your belly was the sun, melting at their feet

it's just so who you know and feeling out the magic touch

i know you're soft

so i gave it all for the life of me

in fear my telepathy is praying for a fee

read these words back to me, life is easy and you are free

i know you're soft



an addendum to a dream

when the time came, time made me vacant

with only moments to know, witnessing it spray

the divine scent over them with faces naked

the light makes and the light takes us all away


walking uncertain steps to songs wept in the dream

in delusion and disillusionment, stay away from me


my mind made a light change revealing this sacred

it slowly centered the boat towards your name

the waves break a language waiting patient

as time swayed it made us think we're here to stay


walking uncertain steps to songs wept in the dream

in delusion and disillusionment, stay away from me


when the time came, time made me vacant

with only moments to know, witnessing it spray

the divine scent over them with faces naked

the light makes and the light takes us all away


walking uncertain steps to songs wept in the dream

in delusion and disillusionment, stay away from me



some quiet funky business

interesting to slay the old beast out of the country, the mark of the geese

one of these days they're going to skin you alive, repatriating your ass to the sky

and then i came and i came and i came and i came


all out of wonder, a permanent withdrawal; out of the parking garage, nature's call

the cloud can't beat the condo to exalt a brighter sun than we'd like to admit, if at all

and then i came and i came and i came and i came


this, i guess, is a recipe for mess. this, i suspect, is a gathering of facts

a fortune of pain when a covenant's made that the bodies you make are lifeless mistakes

and then i came and i came and i came and i came


oh well, how about the fluffy flowers flapping pheromones

and the tips of the petals blowing compassion til you're old

into kind darkness let the guilt go with the flow, silently outward wearing the coat of an old joke

and then i came and i came and i came and i came



for me it was nothing

from skipping stones to stripping bones

if you're just waking, we're just about home

it's a slope that we're on and off into the great unknown


addiction, the burn, direction, inward

and if it's perfect, it's hoping it's worth it

it's a joke they sold us on and took us from the great unknown


through rotting gums, and the holes that we tongue

what the body absorbs through the healing of its sores

you're getting old, you're in control and getting off on how you cope


from skipping stones to stripping bones

if you're just waking, we're just about home



pull of deep end

and there i was standing as far as i knew, but you knew i was broken in two, trying to live it all down and soft spoken, aghast before the view with my head floating around, consumed


anyways, so there i was standing as mindless as my breathing as if i were believing that my breath was mine to keep heaving

when that heavy upper hand dropped, ticking the box, accountless to the calendar and clock, no time for i dunno, uh oh, it's nothing to do, sweating it all out and dripping it loud


so i was unfolding, consuming of madness, anything fun, the energy of animals, and drinking the sun

regardless of what i can't stop thinking, my brain rotting inside out tinkering

how about another delirious wow, attention to suffering away from the crowd

and it has to be hip to the light

and it has to be a clear summer night

and it has to be a literal dream

and it has to be breathing with me


and there i was standing as far as i knew, but you knew i was broken in two, trying to live it all down and soft spoken, aghast before the view with my head floating around, consumed



a gentleman's agreement with the truth

if i had to love again, it's a hell of a long time to hold my breath

some are stuck in the ground and some are loose in all perfections of truth

i went down dreaming but i came back screaming and i woke up in time

to bury this dream in the holocene, it's a hell of a long time to care

to piss it all away deliberately, now we're getting somewhere

i went down leaning but i came back with meaning and no reason why

from silence to shrinking to violently freaking and modestly hoping in here

in my own handwriting and the endless driving and no one to know that i'm scared

my head is shrinking or my hands are growing, acceptance is mine

changing the seasons to secret meetings, holding my nose to the air

and no end to citing all the secret meanings, holding the truth without care

i went down dreaming but i came back screaming, and i opened my eyes



be gentle with my number

in the hands of lonely men, long enough it's all my fault i guess

there's no god walks around with headphones on

in the hands of family men, the world transcends in all forgotten plans

be gentle with my number when you call me like the thunder


i lost my temper at the seams

breathe me out

i could feel it in my dancing knees

can you feel the bones

forty years ain't what it used to be

breathe me out

all of a sudden wanting free

can you feel it close

can you feel it close

write my head wrapped around a mindless bend


when it laments and holds its breath, i guess i'm meant if i'm so content

be gentle with my number when you call me like the thunder



a quiet day for the market

the mystery of shooting yourself into the sun for no fucking reason why

with an honest dream flickering in the remaindered light

we're going out of our minds

it's a hopeless thing to just leave whispering in a prayer for the world

while falling to death in the country

if witnessing life shimmering and burning out is evidence of letting you down

then we haven't been listening very well

but now that you already fell we're crawling back through living hell to get to the sun

we're going out of our minds, while falling to death in the country